I always dread Tuesdays because it means three back to back classes and lectures, with two of those being about European Politics, which is not my strong suit. This week, however, I was particularly dreading Tuesday. This was for a number of reasons
- We were talking about constitutional reform in Italian politics in my European Politics class. Basically, it’s just a mess and is incredibly confusing
- I had to meet with my European Politics class teacher right after class about an essay that I get to write this weekend (yay me!)
- My Democracy lecture from Monday got rescheduled (because of a freak bus accident)….to Tuesday immediately following my meeting with my class teacher.
So, this meant five straight hours of feeling mentally drained…which is NOT fun.
Here’s the thing about my European Politics class (and Chris, if you ever read this at some point in the future, know that I don’t mean this personally): I’m not a fan. At all. I think it’s because the subject matter is so new to me (I have little to no experience with politics in Europe), but I have such a hard time wrapping my head around the material. Add that to the fact that I have the lecture and the class on the same day, and you’ve got a recipe for, well, trouble. It’s impossible to hide in class because the classes are so small, but I do my best to avoid eye contact with Chris and hope he doesn’t ask me what I think. I also had a rather awkward moment with him last term following a particularly gruelling day in his class. I had to go to his office hours about an essay and I hadn’t had enough time to mentally and emotionally recover from feeling completely stupid for an hour, so I started my meeting with him by apologising for not participating in class that day….and then I started to cry. Yup, I cried. Poor Chris had no idea what to do and just looked horrified and confused, and then simply patted my hand (because what else could he do?) and assured me that, “no, no, you’re doing great! I make the class hard to prep you for the exam!” in his adorable German way. Quite simply it was an “oh, God” moment. Anyway, there haven’t been any tears since, but my friend and I now use the term “mental fetal position” at times when talking about European Politics. That was me this week because I had not a clue what was going on and it’s getting hard to rally in this course.
That’s another thing. I’m not going to give you this speech about how I’ve learned to overcome being surrounded by some of the smartest students in the world, and how I’ve somehow found the strength to do my best. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, because I’m simply not interested in European politics. Some weeks I can get myself through the reading, and some weeks I read the news in lecture. You win some, you lose some, and then sometimes you cry in your class teacher’s office.
I’m also not going to tell you that I put on a happy face yesterday when faced with a long, draining day. Honestly, I whined. And then I spent a fortune on sushi at Wasabi. And then I bought chocolate. I did FaceTime with my grandparents at the end of the day, though, and it made me smile and forget about things for a while. That was what I needed to get through the day.
What I’m trying to say (while trying not to ramble) is that we all have those days. The important thing is that the day is only 24 hours long and it will end at some point, and your bed and teddy bears will be there to welcome you back. Find the little things that make the day just a bit less horrible and go ahead and indulge.
Let’s just say I slept like a rock that night. It happens.
Inspired to be,