Another deep prompt from #BlogEverydayInMay! I wrote earlier today about what I am struggling with right now, so a few more thoughts on the subject:
Fear is holding me back at the moment. I am worried about my exams, not only because they’re hard, but because what if it turns out I’m not as smart as I think I am? I have no reason to believe that I won’t be fine, but what if…? This is new to me, and I’m not someone who adapts to change very easily. I cling to what I know and I refuse to let anything else in, so much so that I panic and it drains me and I can’t think. It’s what happened when I first got here and everything was strange, and it’s happening again. I know that because when this happens, the person I turn to is my mom and I tend to get a little clingy. It’s so frustrating because I’m 20 years old and I want to grow up and feel like I’ve got a handle on my life.
I know that this summer and next year will be a time of immense transition, but for now, this in-between phase is driving me crazy. To put it very simply, I have things to work through at the moment, and fear, especially fear of change is one of the things preventing me from working through them.
But, exams are exams and I’ll survive somehow. One of the best cures for anxiety is music, I strongly believe, especially the following pertinent song: Let It Go.
Inspired to be… (and inspired to Let It Go!),